A few months ago I came across a video about a wolf sanctuary. There were many beautiful takeaways but what really struck me was watching the natural flow and function of life as a pack and how the alpha guides this.
As someone who finds solitude in stillness, working with others in a harmonious way is a skill that I had to consciously develop. Growing up, I was someone who was determined, valued achievement and had an endless perfectionist drive for success. I was shown that, to achieve greatness one must be bold, louder and “better” than everyone else. Internally this made me feel confused and lost as I tried to force this way of living.
It wasn’t until my life came to a screeching halt that I began to understand the dichotomy of my life. I was alone for the first time. Now, I firmly resonate with the saying, “there’s a difference between being lonely and being alone”. I was alone.
As an intuitive empath, being alone provided me with an opportunity to hear the whispers of my own soul. It allowed my body to feel whole and healthy. It provided my mind a chance to rest. In my retreat I was free from absorbing physical, emotional and mental patterns from others.
It took me years of solitude to sort through the piles of confusion I’d taken on from other people. For the first time I finally begin to hear the sound of my own heart beat. This melody was like a drum that harmonized my mind and body. I finally had the space to heal the broken record of negative thoughts that consumed my routines. Some of these thoughts were learned, some accepted from others as my truth and some absorbed.
I grew comfortable in my energy. I found clarity and peace within myself. I learned to appreciate and accept myself. In the silence I saw how to decipher between what was mine and what belonged to the rest of the hurried world around me.
I needed these years. They gave me a key.
Very recently I found the door. A doorway that led me back into the world I so desperately sought refuge from. With hesitance, I turned the key.
On the other side I discovered that I had a whole new perceptive of the world. I had boundaries. I respected myself and I understood more about who I was mentally, physically and spiritually. I found strength in my intuitive nature and embraced the natural flow of life instead of forcing it.
What I realized in watching the video about the wolves is that the alpha wolf is different than I would’ve expected. The alpha has a quiet confidence, a quiet self-assurance. Through his senses he knows what he needs to do for the greatest good of all. He’s comfortable with himself and therefore has a relaxing effect on his pack.
I was never lost, I was learning. In my challenges, the universe was showing me how I differ from everyone else. It was showing me where my strengths laid. I learned to trust myself and rely on my intuitive instincts like the wolf. I can lead my life with love and compassion. I can work with others and celebrate them for who they are. By loving myself and surrendering to my instincts I learned that I can achieve even more than I ever dreamed possible all in my own special and unique way. Sending you love and light, Ashley