The holidays! Two words that can stir up a merry mix of emotions for empaths. Then of course, there are the emotions that are a little less holly jolly and a little more ho-ho-horrible.
As empaths we take on other people’s feelings as our own. We absorb the good, the bad and the ugly. This can make being surrounded by so many people very difficult and confusing. People’s emotions are often heightened during the holidays with no where to go except to the empath.
Holiday events can also amplify things we’re uncomfortable with inside ourselves. They can create environments in which we’re constantly comparing ourselves to others. Old beliefs and patterns come rising to the surface. Things that we’ve worked through or are currently working on seem intensified and distracting. We begin to doubt ourselves and can fall victim to our fears. Here are a few tips to help your holiday be bright:
• Go into your holiday event with an intention. Here’s an example: “I’m going to this event and I allow myself to relax and have fun there. I have the freedom to leave whenever I want. I know that when others are hurtful toward me, their actions have everything to do with themselves and nothing to do with me. I give my energy to people who lovingly respect and reciprocate it and no one else. I love myself. There is strength in my love. I am protected.”
• While at a holiday event take a moment to check in with yourself. Are you absorbing negative feelings from someone else or are they your own? Remember, your own feelings are justified and there’s a reason for them. However, it's not your responsibly to carry other people’s feelings for them. Only they can heal themselves when they're ready.
• Set boundaries energetically and physically. If you don’t want to go somewhere that's okay, don’t go. I know empaths who will actually think themselves sick so they have an excuse to stay home. Instead Google, “How To Say I Don’t Want To Do Something”. There are tons of examples! Find ways that feel comfortable to you. Make some notes and prepare yourself for when the moment arises that you want to say no. Saying no is a form of self-respect. You can also make clear boundaries with time. Say, “Okay I can come for 20 minutes but then I have somewhere to be.”
• You don’t have to change who you are to accommodate other people. Ever. End of story.
• Take pressure off of yourself. Cater your event. Hire a cleaning crew. Delegate tasks. It’s your holiday too. What do you want to do? What do you not want to do?
• Take a break. Feeling overwhelmed at an event? Walk away. Go spend time in the bathroom where you can breath, listen to a fun song or meditate. Play with the kids, a dog or a cat. Go outside, take a walk around the block. It’s okay and to be honest, most likely, people won’t even notice. It’s an interesting phenomenon!
I hope you find this helpful. I’ve spent many holidays feeling anxious and uncomfortable. Sometimes, because of things I was personally going through and other times because I was absorbing those feelings from others. Know this, your empath abilities are a gift and it's time to celebrate your holiday season in a way that you love.
Wishing you all so much love and light, always. Ashley